delightfully dubious dzaet

Releasing the Negative Energy

2012-01-25T06:17:00.000-08:00

Releasing the Negative Energy... 20 x 30 oil on linen. I have reached that point in my life where holding on to people places or things that have consistently brought misery and pain, is not comfortable for me. So, I am processing the "letting go" of these things. It has been difficult emotionally. This painting shows the peace that can be obtained by not chasing rainbows, a peace that I hope to obtain, with time....

Isabelle

2011-12-20T06:49:00.001-08:00

12x12 oil on canvas... I am certainly NOT a portrait artist, but this is a gift for a close friend... I hope she likes it!!

The Empty Nest of Elizabeth 1st

2011-12-19T06:30:00.001-08:00

The Empty Nest of Elizabeth 1st... 24x30 oil on linen. I have an affinity for Queen Elizabeth, dont undertand why, and I suppose it dosent matter. This is my third painting of her. I have, again, wanted to point out her self sacrifice in ruling her country. She never married, so had an "empty nest". She married England.

Singled Out

2011-11-09T05:09:00.000-08:00

A 20x20 oil on linen... Everyone has been "singled out" from time to time, either blamed for something you didnt do, or just lucky enough to be chosen to be the scapegoat in any given situation. It is an unfortunate part of life, one which I take particular issue with... I simply cannot bear to be blamed for something that I havent done, and it usually catches me off guard and leaves me feeling quite helpless...

Birthing a new Legacy

2011-10-03T02:41:00.001-07:00

Birthing a new Legacy... 24x30 oil on linen. I recently saw the old movie "Powder" and was inspired to do a painting reflecting the emotions that the movie brought up in me. To be able some day to evolve into the true human being that Powder represented has not only touched me, but given me renewed strength to walk my personal spiritual path with a new skip! I look forward to every step that brings our world closer to our new existence. We are all ONE...

Denying the Hurricane Within

2011-09-07T05:37:00.000-07:00

Denying the Hurricane Within... 20x24 oil on linen.... inspired by Hurricane Irene. Oftentimes, when we are most bothered by a negative emotion, we tend to look the other way, denying its existence... something I have been guilty of in the recent past. It is always better to "face the storm", deal with it, and move on.

2011-08-16T05:52:00.000-07:00

The Accompanied Journey... 18x24 oil on linen.. This is a painting of my personal animal totems...Many of my paintings contain images of ravens, but panther is my "power totem" so I wanted to pay homage, if you will. Panther has been with me since childhood, and in looking back over my life, has never abandoned me. He represents "rebirth", something I was unaware of when I began painting and using the name dzaet (8:08) to represent my personal rebirth... Panther has provided me with the strength and stamina to endure...

Shape Shifting

2011-08-05T10:28:00.001-07:00

Shape Shifting, 18x24 oil on linen... I think the bottom line explanation of this painting, is that you can become whatever you desire... I could go on and on with details, but for this one, I am asking you to use your imagination.

Out of the Storm

2011-07-24T05:43:00.000-07:00

Out of the Storm, 16x20 oil on canvas. I have been on a spiritual journey for quite some time... and recently have become "aware" of so many new things. With this new awareness, has come a new sense of peace, serenity, and hope. I titled this painting Out of the Storm, because in a sense I have left the "storm" of life behind. I am much more grounded while on this planet, yet have found a way to "keep my head in the clouds" if you will... May you all find your way...

Cloned

2011-06-06T05:56:00.001-07:00

Cloned... a 16x20 oil on panel... I have a "friend" in my life, who appears to be trying to take over my life, to almost become me. It is creepy and disturbing... and as usual, I put my situation on canvas.

Buy Your Self Esteem!

2011-05-20T06:09:00.001-07:00

Buy Your Self Esteem! An 18x24 oil on panel... a sarcastic look at plastic surgery and why we do it... I have had a tummy tuck, so I am not pointing fingers... I only wish that my self esteem came more from within than from without.

The Miata Affair

2011-05-04T16:06:00.001-07:00

The Miata Affair... 18x24 oil on panel. I did a show last year that was so successful that I paid cash for a gorgeous old miata. This car became a trophy... a tangible reward for the pain that had been reproduced on canvas, the tears, the anger, the heartache. A week ago, I had to sell it, not because of anything I did, but circumstances that were out of my control. My hands were tied. In my naivety, I thought that I would own this car forever, a constant reminder of the healing that I had accomplished, and the painful memories that no longer kept me prisoner. I have once again learned that nothing is forever. I approached the car like a child full of innocence, I sold the car with the death of innocence. I am truly heartbroken... my validation is gone.

Row row row your boat...Life is but a dream

2011-04-25T06:10:00.000-07:00

Row row row your boat...Life is but a dream. 20x24 oil on linen. I have been studying quantum physics and how it relates to spirituality, and so this painting was "born" out of that. Life really is a dream, as reality is nothing more than how we perceive it... My hope would be that we all could create happy, contented lives...

Perpetual Garden

2011-04-13T04:55:00.000-07:00

Perpetual Garden... 24 x 30 oil on linen. Life is a garden....

Early Conditioning

2011-03-31T08:12:00.001-07:00

Early Conditioning. 12x24 oil on linen. We are taught from an early age to "conform", to "be good". It can bring with it shame, the feeling of being stupid, insecurity, even self-hatred, which can be carried with us as baggage for our entire lifetime. Doing this painting was difficult for me, it touched those painful childhood experiences. Hopefully it will be healing also.

The Pious Preacher

2011-03-27T11:56:00.000-07:00

The Pious Preacher... 18x36 oil on canvas. Portrait of the man who thinks he is not merely a man, but pious enough to believe he is above being human. Armed with his "message" he is full of self importance, while being oblivious to the plight of humanity... gonna tick some people off...alas......

The Healer

2011-03-01T05:28:00.001-08:00

The Healer... an 18x24 oil on linen. I wanted to show the "one-ness" that a healing requires. As this woman is healing the bird, she takes on characteristics of being a bird... the wings, and the branches symbolize a place of rest, heaven, if you will...

The Contract

2011-02-21T09:41:00.001-08:00

The Contract. A 12x16 oil on canvas... Contracts are made in the spiritual realm between souls prior to embodiment here on Earth. Most of them are difficult, as we are learning to reach perfection. This painting is pertaining to one of my most difficult contracts... will I make it?

Sister Moon, Brother Sun

2011-02-17T07:06:00.000-08:00

Sister Moon, Brother Sun is an 18x24 oil on linen. It is meant to show the connection of you and I with God, with the universe. We are all one

A Personal Hell

2011-02-11T10:08:00.000-08:00

A Personal Hell... 16x24 oil on linen. A visionary definition of hell... where it lies in the mind, unable to connect to the heart, where all forgiveness originates. I rarely like any of my paintings, but this one, I like!

Lost in Silence

2011-02-03T09:26:00.000-08:00

18x24 oil on linen... Once upon a time when I was in therapy, I called my mother and asked her what kind of child I was, as I have little to no memory of my youth. She replied... "You were perfect". After questioning her as to how I could be perfect, she explained that I was always quiet, could be taken anywhere and remained un-noticed, and that when at home I stayed in my room... quietly. I was appalled by her response and wondered how she could consider this perfect when it seemed a bit abnormal to me... So, this painting is meant to show me, as a child, being perfect. Dysfunction at its finest!!

Intuition

2011-01-27T07:42:00.000-08:00

Intuition... a painting about that intuitive voice that we all have, born within the "gut". The mind then begins to process the "message" as it has been born, not of this world.

The Hidden Motive

2011-01-10T06:59:00.000-08:00

The Hidden Motive.. a 24x30 oil on linen. I have to wonder sometimes, if my motives are born in my heart or my head... My goal would be to heart driven at all times, but I am sure I can fall prey to "hidden motives".

The Messenger

2010-12-04T12:47:00.001-08:00

18x24 oil on linen. I have had an incredible interest in ravens lately. They are shape shifters, messengers of light according to the Native American traditions. I like it. Thought I would do a painting about the topic... I wish the digital cameras would do a better job when photographing an original painting, as the colors in this are so much nicer than you can see. Her dress is actually a very drab green, however, it looks gray in the photo... aw well.. Hope you enjoy having a look!

Visions

2010-11-20T06:51:00.001-08:00

Visions... inspired from a vintage lithograph. 18x24 oil on canvas gallery wrap. A somewhat spiritual painting, and fairly self explanatory. Hmmm, I have nothing else to say! haha...

Out of the Darkness Into the Light

2010-11-10T12:25:00.001-08:00

Out of the Darkness, Into the Light... 18x24 oil on linen. This is a self portrait... I have been discovering new wisdom, new spirituality, new me, new goals... just discovering everything new. And it is so exciting... Hope you enjoy the painting!

I AM

2010-10-25T12:29:00.000-07:00

I AM... this painting is my definition of God. God is all and is therefore in all.... everything is connected, eternally. That's it.

2010-10-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

The Transformation. I have been giving a lot of thought lately to what happens after death. I guess I am struggling to define "afterlife". So, as usual, I decided to do a painting about life after death. I call this the Transformation, because I wanted to show that at the moment of bodily death, the soul remains alive, and returns to the source of creation.

Burdened

2010-08-25T08:06:00.001-07:00

"Burdened". A small painting. Oil on panel. Will I ever be happy with anything that I paint?

Life and Death, the great love affair

2010-08-20T06:10:00.001-07:00

Life and Death... the great love affair. As every birthday rolls by, I find myself thinking more and more about "transitioning" or what some people may choose to call DEATH. Yuk... anyway, I find this painting uplifting, and full of hope. I like the fact that the girl still "exists" after death, and that she is basically the same being... just in another realm. I dont believe in heaven in a traditional sense, but I do believe that we continue to experience things, just in another realm. The birds represent souls... some off to live their human life, the others, returning to the "source". Anyway, it brings me comfort, hope you enjoy!!

2010-08-06T07:10:00.001-07:00

The Armenian Genocide of 1915. In honor of my grandparents, Nishan and Nazli. There is not enough skill or talent to make this painting what I wanted it to be. However, it tells a story. 1.5 million Armenian men, women and children were systematically killed, sent on "death marches" to nowhere, where they were starved to death. Or rounded up in villages, and raped and murdered. My grandparents lost their families to the Ottoman Turks. My grandmother watched her mother die and be thrown into the water. She watched her father and brothers murdered in her village. She watched her baby brother die in the arms of her mother, and be layed along the roadside, as the Turks did not allow burials... My grandfathers story is just as gruesome. He was left for dead in his home. Shot through both knees and sliced to pieces by the Turkish swords. Pretending to be dead while he watched his family killed, and not mercifully. I hope this painting tells their story, and shows the utter despair that these orphaned children endured.

2010-07-28T13:27:00.000-07:00

FACING REALITY.... sometimes we just gotta get our heads out of the clouds, and see things for what they really are... and it hurts... 24 x 36 oil on canvas

Forgotten

2010-07-15T07:30:00.001-07:00

Forgotten... an 18x36 oil on canvas. A painting of a broken family...

My hands are tied

2010-07-02T05:15:00.001-07:00

My Hands are Tied. An 8x10 oil on canvas... Kinda says it all, eh?

Lauras Kiss

2010-06-19T11:43:00.001-07:00

Laura's Kiss.... is a 20x24 oil on linen. I was inspired to do this painting after reading a blog by a "friend" on Myspace named Laura. It appeared that we had suffered many of the same heartaches as children, and even adults. I carried this around with me for a few weeks, and then decided to try and do a painting showing the uncanny and most unfortunate ways that two people who have never met can relate to one another and even share emotion for a brief time...

I hope you enjoy this painting... and dont focus on the sadness these two women are feeling, but rather on the communion they are sharing.

Surrendering

2010-06-02T07:45:00.001-07:00

20x24 oil on canvas... I was at first a bit upset with the message of this painting. After all, surrendering is not always a good option, however, after giving it more thought, I came to terms with the painting. Surrendering doesnt always have to be a bad thing. We can surrender to love, feelings, a better way... etc. I like it much better now, and the message can be more positive than originally intended!

The Birth of Insight

2010-05-24T08:38:00.001-07:00

The Birth of Insight. My newest painting. This is an oval canvas, 16x20. This is also an autobiographical piece. I began understanding and gaining insight into who I was 3 years ago when I began painting. Thus the title... hope you enjoy it!

In the Beginning

2010-05-05T06:32:00.001-07:00

18x18 oil on canvas... Another technical failure, but I still like the concept of this painting. Obviously it represents the very beginning of... everything. Trinity, creation, plans... It is full of symbols and secret messages... I hope you enjoy trying to find the secrets!

Eve and the Pearls of Wisdom

2010-04-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

3 years ago, when I began painting, the fifth painting that I did was entitled Forbidden. It was an attempt at the story of Eve and her deception. I failed at it miserably and promised myself that someday I would try again. This is my second attempt. The painting is huge, a 24x48 canvas. The biggest painting I have ever done up to now. It shows the story of Eve... and how in her own ignorance she believed that she could be like God... thus the title.. Eve had no wisdom at all, and once she gained the knowledge of good and evil, she realized the folly of her decision.

The Virgin Queen

2010-04-13T06:04:00.000-07:00

The Virgin Queen, a 30x40" oil on linen painting. I tried to depict Elizabeths loveless life.. my question being, was this by accident or by choice? There were one or two men in Elizabeths life that it is reported she would have married, but it never worked out. Did Elizabeth manipulate the situation in order to remain "married to England?". I think she may have. I have used some symbolism to show her manipulating her love life or lack thereof... I hope you enjoy this painting!

The Targets

2010-02-22T09:46:00.001-08:00

The Targets... I did this painting to pass the time while I waited to leave on vacation. I didnt want to just sit, and my next painting is a large portrait of Elizabeth 1st, and that was nothing to begin right before leaving. This is a simple painting, basically showing the two targets that are most often aimed at from verbal abusers. The mind (or soul) and heart.

Jumping Through Hoops

2010-02-17T06:41:00.001-08:00

Well, I was beginning to wonder if I would ever finish this painting... This is quite an emotional piece for me. Hopefully it depicts a relationship that is very demanding and loveless and the effects it would have on the other person. Children especially. A demanding parent can break us in half at such an early age, leaving very little to build on in future years. I think children tend to detach somewhat from their painful emotions, thus the tearing eye pinned up on the tent canvas. I feel like I cant really explain much more, as my own mind begins to whirl... but hopefully, if this painting "speaks" to you, you will hear it in your own language.

Prints will be available in a few weeks. Painting is not for sale at this time...

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil

2010-01-20T11:52:00.000-08:00

Well now. This is the first LARGE painting I have done in what feels like eons. It is a 24x30 oil on linen. I hope the meaning is obvious... I was going to paint womens bodies with monkey heads, but decided I should behave~! haha.... I am off to sketch out the next one~

Unlocking the Garden

2009-12-21T11:29:00.001-08:00

Unlocking the Garden. I was asked recently if I wanted to give a presentation at the local artists club that I belong to. Of course I said yes... I would take any opportunity to explain my work to my fellow painters. Anyway, in thinking about what I would actually want to say to them, the one constant was that I wanted them to stop thinking inside of the box. Voila! Unlocking the Garden was born... It is a 12x12" oil on panel

The Three Menaces

2009-12-10T14:09:00.001-08:00

My newest... The Three Menaces. 20x24 oil on linen. Could possibly be the last painting of this year... we shall see....

The Looking Glass

2009-11-23T15:38:00.001-08:00

This painting began as just a simple "fun" painting taken from an old Victorian photograph I found online. And it was going well... just fun! Then my husband wrecked his motorcycle, endured spinal cord surgery, and after 4 days in the hospital I brought him home. When I returned to finish this painting, my heart wasnt in a "fun" mood anymore. I realized how much stress I was putting myself under, both emotionally and financially. I really thought I had "grown" more than this in my personal life. So this "fun" little painting took on a whole new meaning. It would seem, as I examine myself, that I have not grown as much as I had hoped, and that I have much further to go! Funny how paintings reflect our everyday lives when we least expect it~ thus the name... The Looking Glass

New Art Book!

2009-11-21T09:11:00.000-08:00

I am proud to announce the publishing of my new book of art. This is a hardcover book with dust jacket, 7"x7". There are 80 full color pages of my latest paintings, with comprehensive descriptions of what I was trying to "say" when I painted them. I am tickled to death to be able to offer this book. It is just a bit more than a print, and offers pictures of many many paintings!

Anyway, if you would like to purchase one, you can go to my Etsy shop. I have it listed there... just use the link to the right of my blog!!

Oh, and there is a new painting on the way! Should be finished in a few days...

Transfer of Power

2009-10-25T06:23:00.000-07:00

The latest of my paintings... one that I am again, not too thrilled with, although I cant put my finger on why I dislike it. It is a painting of one of my past relationships, and honestly, I never was able to completely take back my "power". Perhaps that is my discontentment with this piece. I havent reached this place. I have not received my coronation yet. I am still subject to this relationship and its heartaches... When will I learn?

ON a brighter note... the subject in the painting, has successfully transferred the power over to herself, leaving the last "Queen Bee" to look on her with perhaps just a bit of regret. Hopefully there would be a bit of regret...

Awards

2009-10-25T06:18:00.001-07:00

Much to my amazement... I have received awards from the last two shows that I have been involved with. Funny thing is, the focus has been on this painting! Not one of my favorites. I love what this painting has to "say", however, I have always thought it a bit discombobulated, and just a tad bit "cartoony". Anyway, the judges have disagreed.

This painting won Best in Show at the CBA Ocean View show October11, and it won an Honorable Mention at the Spirit show, in the Warehouse this past October 23. Wonders never cease!!

Best in Show Ribbon

2009-10-15T04:14:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am elated, humbled, shocked, and even giggly! I was so amazed that I won Best in Show at the CBAA Ocean View Show. There were over 60 artists there, all of whom had amazing art. For my work to be chosen in such a traditional show was a miracle in and of itself! It not only made me feel accepted, but it also made me feel like I was helping the tons of artists here locally who paint "outside of the box". Perhaps Virginia is finally beginning to accept alternative art. Art that depicts something other than beach scenes and ballet dancers.

The painting that won is entitled, A Game of Chess. It makes a statement about God, and his sometimes seemingly unavailability. Please go to the website and have a look at it. It is still available for sale...

Again, I am so humbled by this award... wonders just never cease!!

Blindfolded

2009-10-06T11:40:00.001-07:00

Blindfolded. Yes. Sometimes we just wont see what we dont want to. It is as if something inside just turns a blind eye. Unfortunately though, it is impossible to ever completely deny what we see, so the one eye in the painting is symbolic of the fact that even when we are denying what we see, down deep inside we really do KNOW.

Besides all of that hoopla, I just like the colors! haha....

Adding new goodies!

2009-10-04T05:08:00.000-07:00

Hello! I will be adding a few things to my website. First off, I have added a link to take you to my Etsy shop. That is an easy place to buy prints and other assorted stuff, rather than using the contact page on the website. I need to work on Etsy, and will be once I get past this next big art show. I will be adding a lot more prints, and original paintings over the next few weeks.

I will also be adding a feature called something like "Paintings of the Month". In that section, I will highlight a few paintings every month that are for sale. Again, this will make everything easier for everyone!! I am also punching my website designer, trying to get a new web design. I am picky and hard to please so I suppose it is more my fault than his, that this hasnt been done yet!! (Of course I added that, because he may read this blog) ;-)

Anyway... over the winter months, when the shows slow way down, I would like to explore so many new things... I would like to play with clay, rubber stamps, and of course paint many new canvas's. Stop by often, and hopefully there will be many new things to look at!

Have a Happy Halloween!

The Ghost of Sorrows Past

2009-09-11T07:13:00.001-07:00

The Ghost of Sorrows Past... I desperately wanted to learn to paint white on white. Although I am happy with this painting, I still have a lot to learn about using subtle shading when using white. I am a high contrast person, and so this was so difficult for me! I have a massive antique, heavily carved frame I am thinking about putting this painting in. The frame has been painted a soft offwhite, with soft beige antiquing in the carved areas... it is beautiful!!

Anyway, I would like to do another white on white piece... But for now, I have so many others to do... I hope you enjoy this painting, and what it has to say. Leaving sorrow in the past is the best place to leave it!!!

A great weekend!

2009-09-02T10:37:00.001-07:00

I cannot begin to tell you just how wonderful this past weekend at Seawall Art Festival was! It began a week before with dire warnings of constant weekend rain... I truely believed that it was going to be a washout. However, the rain never appeared, and the people were out and about in abundance. As usual I met some of the nicest people ever, which is one of my big attractions to art festivals... I sold 5 originals, sold out of my fine art books and Bochos cartoons books, and won the 5th place ribbon, which was accompanied by a $500.00 check. I know that 5th place doesnt sound all that great, but considering the talent that was there and a hundred artists to compete with, I am not only honored, but totally humbled!

Scape Goat

2009-08-20T15:19:00.001-07:00

I did this painting as a test for what I am going to paint on my motorcycle. I will be painting the girl, complete with collar and hands on the top of the tank of my motorcycle. I will be adding angels, eyes, and the number 808 on the fenders and sides of the tank. I am very excited about this project. And not a bad beginning... I got a painting out of the deal too!

Seriously, I really do like the message in this painting. So many times we are accused of doing wrong when we have done nothing. It has happened repeatedly in my life, and there is nothing more excruciating than trying to convince someone that you are innocent! Seems sometimes that the person who yells the loudest is the one that ends up being believed. At least that is how it has been for me. Oh well, a Scape Goat is an intregal part of a dysfunctional family...

Martyr

2009-08-14T07:54:00.001-07:00

Well, this is a small 12x12 oil on canvas. I like the name Martyr as it is something that I have never addressed in a painting before. Shoot, we have all had the displeasure of knowing a martyr, havent we? And truth is, we have all probably been guilty of being one ourselves before. Anyway, she definitely is a prima donna of martyrdom!!

I lost interest in this painting half way through, as my next painting started burning a hole in my head!! haha... has that ever happened to any of you? I feel like I cheated this painting, by not giving it my full attention! I hope it doesnt show too badly... and most of all, I hope you all enjoy it...

Opening Pandoras Box

2009-08-09T15:38:00.001-07:00

Well, this is the newest painting. While I am not overjoyed with the outcome technically of this painting, I do like what it has to say. I have spent most of my life running from emotions that I am assuming would be quite unpleasant to take a good look at. Emotions that have been buried for years and years. I believe that if I was ever able to open up my heart and take a good look inside, it may very well be like "Opening Pandoras Box".

I hope that you enjoy the message that this one has to give. I hope that it provokes thought...

Embracing Your Fears in Pink Ribbons

2009-07-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

This is a 24x24 oil on linen. I think it is quite creepy, but not because of the reason you might think. To me, this painting is about embracing, or facing ones fears. That has always frightened me. I think that in order to be able to do this, we have to have trust in ourselves and faith that it will be ok, which is why I put the girl in pink ribbons... the trust of a child. The girl representing the fear is holding an 8 ball, showing how no one really knows how things are going to turn out.

I dont normally explain my art. See? We never know how things will turn out!

Hope you like it! Prints will be available soon...

Everythings Coming Up Roses

2009-07-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

16x20 oil on canvas. Another in my "series" of common phrases. I am enjoying these. They are not necessarily recognizable as my normal type of work, but they have been enjoyable! Hope you are enjoying them too!!!

Time Flys

2009-07-13T11:24:00.001-07:00

Well another painting done. This one is different in that I used much cooler colors than I normally would. I prefer my warm pallet of reds and golds, but occasionally I suppose I need to experiment with things. Anyway, I am having fun with these common phrases... Pulling myself Together, and now Time Flys. I have a whole list... should be a series!

Pulling Myself Together

2009-07-03T15:04:00.001-07:00

Pulling Myself Together

The new painting... such a relief after about 3 weeks of not painting. I was beginning to worry... Anyway, this is called Pulling Myself Together... for obvious reasons... Well, I DO have a sense of humor..

The Rival - adjusted

2009-06-17T04:10:00.001-07:00

I couldnt figure out what I didnt like about this painting, so I got it out and decided to fool around with it. I added more ivy on her forehead... and I like it so much better! Then I adjusted the mouth and her eyes. I am much happier with the finished painting. Hope you guys like it better too!!

smiles...

My new Toy

2009-06-04T10:35:00.001-07:00

Well, I did it. I bought myself a Harley. The hubby took the plunge a while back, and I have been riding on the back. After giving it a bit of thought, I decided I would rather be in control myself, so I bought my own. I love it. I just got it yesterday, and have learned to take off, shift through 2nd gear, stop, turn, and laugh! Not bad for 45 minutes in the local school parking lot. I could hardly wait to ride again this afternoon, but alas... it is pouring rain. I guess it will have to wait a couple of days until the rain has gone!

I never thought I would be a motorcycle mama, but here I am, and loving every minute of it!

The Rival

2009-05-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

Ladies. Sometimes rivals come in small packages!

Agoraphobia ... aka Imprisonment

2009-05-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

Most of you dont know me personally, but I have suffered with agoraphobia most of my life. It has robbed me of most of lifes experiences and opportunities. I have gotten better, but driving still seems to be a minor issue. Hopefully, the day will come when that no longer plagues me either.

I wanted to try and do a painting of agoraphobia.. Tons of dark and scary images popped into my mind, but eventually I decided on this one. I think it shows what I want but without being so dark!! Oh, and for those of you who dont know what agoraphobia is, it is the fear of going outside. It is fear. Paralizing fear.

Anyway, this is my feeble attempt at painting a phobia. I hope if you dont understand it, at least you enjoy the image!!

The East Beach Gallery Show

2009-05-20T09:39:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone...

I submitted a painting (Tree of Knowledge) to a gallery show yesterday sponsored by the Chesapeake Bay Artists Association, of which I am a member. I am so excited to say that I won 3rd place, which is indeed an honor being among so many talented people. I took my camera and snapped off at least 75 pictures of the event, only to find out this morning that I forgot to put the memory card in the camera. I could have thrown myself on the floor!!!

So, here I am to celebrate a ribbon, that I have no photograph of! haha.... The painting will hang in the gallery until May 30. When I bring it home I will photograph the painting with the ribbon... perhaps with me holding the ribbon... (I could always pretend that it was the original photograph... haha) Anyway... I am tickled... and I wanted to share.

Mona's Mystery

2009-05-18T08:25:00.001-07:00

Once a month at Jerrys Artarama they have a "Sip and Paint". I go every month as I enjoy being with other artists, and of course am always looking for something to learn. Yesterday was this months "party" and the end result was this painting. I call it Mona's Mystery, however, we all know that this is DaVinci's Mona Lisa. I plan on doing another but tweeking it a bit... you know, perhaps adding some 1950's cats eye glasses... or an eyebrow piercing... giggles...

Two weekend art shows!!

2009-05-15T07:23:00.000-07:00

Well, for the last two weekends I have been quite busy with art shows. The first weekend, I was in the annual Spring show at Jerrys Artarama. It is an annual event, keeping the number of artists down to around 20. It was a fairly successful show, and the best news ever, was that I won 1st place! I cried. I never expected this win, as there were so many talented people there! Here is a pic of the ribbon... and NO I have not been drinking.... haha... Just drunk with joy!

This past weekend I did the Gosport Art Festival in Olde Towne, in Portsmouth. There were over 130 artists and so much talent everywhere!! I sold 9 paintings, and a few pieces of my jewelry and lots of prints. I met so many interesting and lovely people there. Although I hate lugging tents and racks and worrying about the weather in these outdoor events, I love meeting the people, the atmosphere, and of course the greasy food from the attending vendors. I hope all of you local people will come out this August to the Seawall show, and say hi!!

A Game of Chess

2009-05-15T07:17:00.001-07:00

Well, another painting that kicked my butt! I do love the colors in this one, but I struggled with the composition. From the beginning of hearing about good vs. evil, God and Satan, I always thought of God as playing some sort of chess game. As if our salvation was nothing more than a chess game between him and Lucifer. Obviously this was a Bible Story that I dont adhere to any more, but I wanted to do a painting illustrating how I felt. I hope this is clear and easy to interpret.

Designer Babies

2009-04-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

Well, this is the last new painting before my upcoming 3 shows. I am happy with this painting. I love the colors, it gives me the feeling of an old illustration out of a 1950's childrens book. It was pure luck that the colors came out so nicely... I hated the background color in the beginning...

Anyway, this painting is about how, as parents, we will someday, be able to order our perfect child. With genetic engineering, it is merely a matter of time...

Hope you enjoy the painting, and give some thought to whether you really think this world is ready for ordering babies.

Mating Season

2009-04-22T10:21:00.001-07:00

Ever noticed how women act when they are after a man? The competition can be fierce... so, I call this Mating Season... this female seems to have gone to extremes... We can be wicked little creatures, cant we???

haha!!

Heavenly Whispers

2009-04-17T06:43:00.000-07:00

Well, as usual, no painting ever turns out the way I see it in my mind. This is a very poor photograph of this painting, however, in reality, the colors are much richer, and the hair much deeper toned... Ah well, what do you do with a digital camera?

I was born at 8:08 in the morning. Since I began a couple of years ago in my art career, I began seeing 808's everywhere. Uncanny things, that simply cant be made up. Cash register receipts, computer glitches, assigned account numbers... you name it and the 808's have been appearing. When my dad was alive he used to always tell me the story of how he received the telegram announcing that his baby daughter had been born at 8:08am. I wonder sometimes, if my dad is putting his approval on the fact that I am painting now. Or if I am being warned, or cheered on, or whatever. I will never know, except that when I began painting, it was as if I was born again. SO... this painting is just a little tribute to my 808s. I hope they stay with me forever...

The Timekeepers

2009-04-14T15:52:00.001-07:00

Well, this is the newest painting. I am not especially happy with it, and cant really figure out why, but here it is. I like the concept of the painting, and definitely like the colors... ???

Anyway, it is an oil on canvas... 18x24 inches

I do hope you enjoy it!!

The Masquerade

2009-04-06T10:35:00.001-07:00

Well, this painting is pretty self explanatory. We are all hiding something...sometimes we even try to hide ourselves!

This is a 12 x 12 inch oil on stretched canvas.

See ya'll later!

Selfish by Nature

2009-04-02T13:19:00.001-07:00

Well, here I am again, with another new painting. This is a bit of a stretch for me, as it really has no emotional value to it at all. However, it has its own little message. As human beings, we have a responsibility to our planet, to nature. I hope we, as a race, begin to take care of our earth and all it has to offer a bit better...

da-da!!! giggles....

2009-03-19T13:45:00.000-07:00

The Corruption...

Unfortunately this is a large painting, and when squished down, it gets difficult to see... Poop!

Wheres Momma Gone?

2009-03-05T06:41:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to try out these gesso panels. I see them continually at the local art supply shop. So I purchased a small 8x10 and decided to paint something simple. I love the panels, and will look forward to using them again.

The painting is again, about family relationships or lack thereof. I feel like we are born, coming into this world hungry for companionship and love, but many of us never find it. We become broken human beings, and once that happens, a huge part of us dies...

The Red Shoes

2009-02-26T14:53:00.001-08:00

I was raised an atheist and then at the age of 24 became a Christian. I studied. I read the bible and studied, and searched, and asked, and looked, and wandered. What I found was quite different than what I had been told.

So now I am on a spiritual path. I avoid organized religions, and seek God on my own, meeting a few fellow seekers along the way! This painting hopefully expresses what I feel when I think about religious organizations.

My intention is not to offend anyone at all, but merely to express myself. If I have offended you in any way, please forgive me.

smiles,
dzaet

The Grip

2009-02-13T07:44:00.001-08:00

I have been suffering with depression for a couple of months, and just a few weeks ago was able to smile again. I have had relationship issues, and had to have my cat put to sleep. It has been awful. BUT, what they say is true. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I feel much better now. Although the depression is gone for now, I still wanted to try and do a painting of how it felt. I think, for me, this expresses the feeling that I had. I was unable to break free of the negative feelings.. it felt like I was imprisoned with sadness as my cell mate.

Thank goodness that I was able to overcome these awful feelings... and thank goodness that I was able to paint my feelings once again!

The Message

2009-02-11T10:11:00.001-08:00

I have been stuck in a rut for a while now... using the same colors every time I do a portrait. I thought it would be fun and interesting to see what would happen if I explored the pallet a bit more.

I like the effect of these colors... she looks dark, and mysterious... I thought the bird a perfect addition to the expression on her face.

Anyway, I hope you like it. The original and prints will be available soon!!

smiles,
dzaet

Nutter new painting...

2009-02-08T08:14:00.001-08:00

This painting is called "Beware of the Wolf in Mens Clothing". It is dedicated to the wolf that I have been in a relationship with. He pretends to be a man, but I have found him difficult to trust, or believe or even know. Does this sound harsh? It shouldnt. We have all at one time or another met someone who presented themselves to be one thing only to find out they are something entirely different.

I, on the other hand, have represented myself as a passive, gentle, trusting bunny!! No favorites here!! giggles...

Hope you enjoy the painting, and I hope you can relate to what it has to say!! It is available on the website and prints will be coming in the next few weeks!!

Pen and Ink

2008-12-15T07:36:00.001-08:00

While at an art show this weekend, I became quite bored and restless... however the show was being held in an art supply shop. How much more wonderful could that have been? giggles... So I decided to play around with pen and ink. I havent done this since I was in the 7th grade art class...

I have been quite depressed recently, and no matter what I do it seems to work inself into my art. I did this, and honestly had a lot of fun. I call it Lost In Nothing, as that is how I feel sometimes. Being so lost within that you feel like even your own little "world" is fake.

Anyway, I have decided to play around with illustrations a bit more. When I cant paint, it is wonderful way to be creative, and express myself.

I hope you enjoy this little drawing.

"Bite Me..."

2008-11-17T07:37:00.000-08:00

I have to giggle every time I see that title... not very lady like, but definitely how I feel. I am having difficulty with a significant other, and frankly it will probably set me out on a single path again. After 20 years, not the easiest thing in the world, but I will survive. Thing is, he thinks I am too weak and insecure to go through with it.... so, voila!! A new painting is born. "Bite Me" shows a bit too much of my pain, again that subconscious painting thing, but over all I love the message, and it is so cute!!

I hope he chokes on his bite!

PS. Tune in later, when I am past this stage and acting a bit more mature about the whole thing.

My new painting, and awakening

2008-11-03T11:10:00.001-08:00

Well, this is my new painting. I call it "The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil - for in the day that thou eatest thereof, thou shalt surely die"

Long title, for sure, but a necessary one I think. I began this painting, much like the last one... simply a painting that I thought would be fun and interesting. However, like the last one, it was finished the day after I found out something that may change my life forever.

You see, we all reassure ourselves that we want to know the truth, above all else. Oh, yes, the truth is the most important thing.... till one day we find a truth that disrupts our lives forever. Then we yearn for the old saying ... "Ignorance is bliss". Ah hah, there is no turning back though. So, I know the truth. It is uncomfortable, and I dont like it, but I know it nonetheless. It is causing me to make decisions that I am not ready to make, dont want to make, am sick over making. I dont even know how to make a decision like this one.

Oh well, enough of my drama on this subject. I hope you enjoy this painting... it has delivered quite an awakening to me, and always remember this: Be careful what you wish for!!

Growth of a Personal Nature

2008-10-08T09:04:00.001-07:00

I have suffered from panic disorder all of my life. However, as I have gotten older, the panic attacks have all but subsided. I believe a part of that is because as I have grown, I have learned to trust myself more. I did this painting, and never really gave it much thought, until it was finished, and then I saw my story embedded in the painting. I was surprised, to say the least.

Subconcious painting. Now that is a new one on me!!

I have 2 large shows this weekend. I am a bit frazzled, but excited too! I look forward to the atmosphere. The people. The corny music they always play at these shows. The greasy food. I am excited.

I have a lot of ideas for new paintings. I only have one more show this year, and I am happy about having more time to paint!! Hopefully, I will get a lot done this winter, and be ready for a new spring and all that it brings.

Victorias Gift

2008-10-03T08:26:00.001-07:00

This is Victorias gift to me. Let me tell you about Victoria. I met Victoria when she came over to look at art. I love it when it happens that way. You meet someone, and it just clicks, it just works. That is how it happened for us. It just worked. She is like a book. As you turn from chapter to chapter you learn more and more about who and why and where she is.

I had no idea that Victoria was so creative and talented. Yes, I knew that she was an avid art collector, and her taste was sublime!! (yes, I have been to her home, and wanted to bring all her art home with me!) I knew that Victoria understood art in a way that most people don't. But I never knew she was an artist herself.

This gift... Victorias Gift... is a culmination of several of my paintings. It shows the relationship between my mother and I. Her use of symbolism brings out the jealousy in me! She is so very very talented. I have never in my life had anyone ever do anything so meaningful and thoughtful for me as she has. I was awed and totally blown away when I opened the box and this gift was looking back at me. I cried. She became emotional. We hugged.

Victorias gift. Was it the beautiful artwork she made for me? Or was it Victoria? I think my gift from Victoria is Victoria.

Thankyou Victoria, for being who you are... and for being who you are with me.

I went on hiatus!

2008-09-26T13:48:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have not painted in 6 weeks!! I have had company from England... the dude that runs this website... and neglected everything except having fun!! Everyone deserves that every now and then.

I was a bit leary to approach the easel again, so decided to paint something simple. This is the new painting... it is called "There is One in Every Crowd"... and aint it the truth!! I think we have all known "one", or even been "one". haha....

Anyway, I hope to be painting on a regular basis once again. I have tons of ideas floating around in my head, and I cant wait to see how they turn out...

Parisian Birdhouse... first and last

2008-08-04T05:46:00.000-07:00

Parisian Birdhouse
Parisian Birdhouse Revisited

Well, there they are. I painted Parisian Birdhouse almost a year ago, and it has always been a popular painting. The original is sold, but the prints have continued to be requested. I thought it would be fun to try painting it again, but this time using oils, and changing the composition a bit. I can see where my painting has improved! haha.... However, I must admit, I still like the first painting better... and always will. Doing something the second time can be fun, but it is NEVER the same. Hope you enjoy the second rendition of a Parisian Birdhouse.

Makes it all worth while

2008-07-27T04:52:00.000-07:00

I have written in the past about how difficult it can be to part with a painting. They are like children, and I have never sold a painting without experiencing a bit of regret and certainly sadness. There is always a huge dose of "I want it back" going on... haha

However, I sold The Second Sacrifice this past week. I must admit it was even more difficult that most, as the painting was only about a month old. It was a newborn... Can you imagine handing over your newborn for a check? Arg........ HOWEVER, I am so delighted with my paintings new mom. She is absolutely wonderful and has sent me a picture of my newborn hanging on her wall. She has gone above and beyond to give my baby a beautiful nursery and a wonderful home. This, my friends is what being an artist is all about. To know that you can bring joy into someones life. She is delighted and I, therefore, am ecstatic!!

Makes it all worthwhile.

The Sacrifice of Elizabeth the First

2008-07-22T05:18:00.001-07:00

Well, I did it. I struggled with the detail in this painting, although to some, it may not be much detail at all... but for me, it was tuff. Especially in the oils. I look at it sometimes, and like it, and other times, I see nothing but all the mistakes. Oh well, the nature of the beast???

My next 2 paintings will be quite different. I want to do a painting of the Armenian genocide of 1915. I am a bit worried about that painting too, as it has landscape in it, and I am not confident at all when it comes to painting land. The other painting will be a normal for me. I want to call it Bird of Prey. It will be about a woman who devours men. Got the idea from a "friend" of mine, who has in insatiable appetite for mens attention!! Geeze, hope she dosent find this and read it... haha. Although, she will never think I could be talking about her....

Anyway, I have a show tomorrow nite, and a gallery opening this coming Sunday. I may knock out a small painting today to take to the show tomorrow nite. Something silly, and inexpensive. I am tired. The Queen Elizabeth took it out of me... haha

Hope to be posting the new paintings within the next few weeks...

The Queen

2008-07-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

I saw the movie this past week, "Elizabeth" with Kate Blanchette. I was totally taken with the film, especially its scenery, and Ms. Blanchette was quite convincing. I was left feeling quite regal and with an immense desire to paint "the Queen".

The thing that impressed me the most about Elizabeth was her willingness to throw away her personal life, including the only love of her life, and to "marry" England. She cut off her hair, applied pasty white makeup so as to appear like stone, and announced to the court (who insisted that she marry) that she was married to England. I think she was stupid, but I am still impressed. This is why she was a queen, and I never will be.

I tried to forget about this painting, as it would be quite a challenge. I dont even know if I have the ability to do such a painting. I suppose if I get in over my head, that I could modify it somewhat. All I know is that I am compelled to do it. I will put my own twists in the painting, as afterall, I am the artist... lol.

I hope to have the painting in the gallery in the next two weeks. It will take a bit of time, with all the detail that will be in it. I hope that it is successful. I look forward to trying.

The Newest Painting

2008-07-02T07:32:00.001-07:00

This painting is called The Key. It is a painting I did, depicting the relationship between my mother and I. The child in the painting is trapped in a dysfunctional relationship with this woman. She will remained trapped until she can find the key to this womans heart... which is quite impossible, as the key is kept far from the childs view and is guarded. The woman thinks her world to be quite lovely, and complete, and has created a lush environment around herself, however, in reality, she has created a dismal surrounding, full of hurt, anger, discouragement. It is a sad painting.

The Pain of Selling a Painting

2008-05-11T08:36:00.001-07:00

I sit here this morning, it is overcast outside. Looks like rain. I have spent the early part of this day mourning over a sold painting. Silly, eh? I have had a "rush" of paintings selling over the past few weeks, and as elated as I am, I am also confused, scared, and yes, even missing a few of them.

I am confused as to why anyone in their right mind would even want to buy my work. It is mediocre at best. I am never satisfied with it. It never turns out to be the masterpiece I see in my mind. It always falls short of the beauty I envision. So, why would anyone want to own something that never reached its full potential? I am confused.

I am scared. Scared that I will never be able to replace the work. Now isnt that an odd fear? What if I never get an idea again? What if my so called "talent" somehow abandons me? Where is my muse? How could I ever replace all of these paintings? What will people expect next? The fear is paralizing. And I am in the midst of a fearful time.

I miss my paintings. Yes, I am a bit "touched", but I do. Most of my work is born from my life experiences. It is a neverending expression of childhood pain, adult rejection, abandonment, insecurity. When one of my paintings sell, a piece of me goes with them. I wonder, sometimes, if people realize this, or if they are merely buying a weird piece of art, to hang on their wall and ultimately forget about. It really dosent matter to anyone but me. This is one of the reasons why I share a kindred spirit with Frida Kahlo. Look at her life. Look at her pain. It is all there for everyone to see, when you look into the tear stained faces she so bravely put out there. I "met" Frida on a clearance table at Barnes and Noble about 9 months ago, and was instantly smitten. She shares my studio with me. I wonder if she ever missed any of her paintings? I wonder if she mourned after watching a piece of her life walk off under someones arm? I do. Call me odd, weird, crazy, whatever, but I do.

I find this one of my strongest assets, and possibly my biggest downfall. Vulnerability. I have been told my work is disturbing, odd, macabre, meaningful, beautiful, soul touching. Depends on who is looking at it. Despite its many colorful descriptions, it is mine. It is me. It is my life experience. And when I watch someone walk off with a painting of mine under their arm, or watch the postmaster as they stamp, insure, and ready a painting for shipping, a part of me mourns... and fears.... in a state of confusion.

Where did I go?

2008-05-04T10:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I have once again discovered something I am not very good at.... keeping a blog! I want to try harder, but I am good at being realistic... haha.

I have been really busy since I last blogged. I have done several shows, been in more galleries, and won a couple of more ribbons. (That always sounds so braggardly) Truth is, I am really excited. I also have more shows coming this year, and will always post them on my Myspace.

I opened an etsy shop. I wonder if I should have, as it is just more to do, but for only being open a week, it is holding its own. I will always try to keep reasonably priced merchandise there for the discriminating buyer... heehee. You can also find prints there from time to time that are not available on the website. Which, reminds me, I want everyone to know, should a print be desired and it is not up for sale, contact me. I can always get one.

I have tons of ideas waiting to be born on canvas. I will be beginning a new painting tomorrow. It will be about my relationship with my mother. I hope to have it posted in about 10 days.

Well, I am off. It is free Sunday!! You see, I eat really healthy Monday thru Saturday, then absolutely pig out on Sunday.... So, I am off to find something fattening to devour...

Name new painting CONTEST

2007-11-16T09:04:00.000-08:00

Hi!!

I have posted a pic of my newest painting both on my website and on Myspace. However, even tho I know what this painting means, I seem unable to come up with a name for it. So here's the deal!

You name this painting!! Post your painting titles on myspace under the painting, in My Art Album, and next Thursday (yes Thanksgiving), I will announce the winner and notify them via Myspace. What do you win? Well, I thought you would never ask!!

Besides naming the painting, you will win a print of your choice off of the website. You can choose any print up to a 10 x 15.

So get busy, put your thinking cap on, name this painting, and win a print.

Myspace address is www.myspace.com/blackorchid1905
Website address is www.dzaet.com

Thankyou all so very much for the help. And have fun!!!

giggles,

dzaet

Lazy Journal keeper

2007-11-08T14:55:00.000-08:00

Well, I have proven to myself that I am a lousy journal keeper. Is that a real phrase? Journal keeper? Or would that be journalist? Whatever, I am no good at it!!

So much has happened since I opened up this website. I have done several shows, and my work is now in the new ArtWhino gallery in DC..... Alexandria, to be exact. It has been a whirlwind of events, and frankly, I have not quite kept up with everything. I am still in the disbelieving stage.

My art is moving along. I havent really changed my subject matter much, I suppose I have a lot of emotional things that still need to be expressed. So, until I tire of it, I will continue along this path. I would like to delve into the surreal world a bit more. I use symbolism without thinking much anymore, it has just become part of how I paint.

I have found that my creativity lies in a delicate balance of business and shows. Marketing yourself is a tough job. It requires a lot of time, and unfortunately takes its toll on the amount of time left to paint. I dont like that part of this. I love doing shows, but a part of me longs to be back, just painting for the love of it!! Oh well. Someday, when I am famous, I will have someone to take care of this business for me, while I stay in the world of canvas and paint.

I am so fortunate to be a part of this art world.

Thankyou to everyone who drops in and takes a look around here. It dosent matter if you like my work, what matters is that it is here for you to either enjoy or not. It is here.

Painting Chosen for Internation Juried Exhibition...

2007-07-16T05:48:00.000-07:00

I am so insanely happy!! One of my pieces of art has been chosen to be in the ArtKudos international juried competition!! I am really beside myself. I will be notified within the next few weeks if the painting wins anything. But I feel like I will win either way!! Even without being chosen for a prize the painting will remain in their online exhibition for 1 year.

This is why, for the moment I have removed the price from the painting, until I see what happens! Peter Trippi, editor of Fine Art Connoisseur Magazine will be judging. The exhibit begins on Aug. 15th. I will post again once the date is nearer!!

I am so very excited.

Here is the painting, entitled, "The Battle Within"

Painting on Auction!!!

2007-06-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am, as promised with a painting on ebay. I have never auctioned off anything before much less a painting. This should prove out to be an interesting week. Perhaps it wont sell at all, now how will I feel about that??? Oh well, as the old saying goes.... Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Anyway, I hope someone comes along who would like to own it. If you like the painting, it IS a great opportunity to own it for small change.... If you would like to buy it outright, just get in touch with me, we will work out something....

Ah well, off to work on yet another painting. While I am painting, you should go drop off a bid on the painting.... heeheeeee.

An introduction and my plans...

2007-06-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

Hello, I am pleased that you are here to get to know a little about me and my plans. Like I said on Myspace, I am an artist in a hurry. I suffered with panic disorder most of my life and only in the past 2 years have regained some semblance of life. I began painting fine art again this February. I feel like I have arrived home after a long, lonely, perilous trip.

If you have looked, I mean really looked, at any of my paintings, the vast majority of them are about me and my life. Hopefully this phase will soon pass, and I will be painting many many different things. My style tends toward surreal, and symbolic, although I will always make time for the occasional Victorian portrait.

I am heading into a series of paintings about psychological disorders. I thought this to be an interesting step from my own past into the next thing. I will intermittently do some "eye candy" paintings, and again, the occasional Victorian portrait.

I am planning on selling some origonal artwork on E-Bay. If it goes well, I will sell as much on E-Bay as is wanted. I am hoping to have the first painting up for auction within the week. I will post it here in my journal, and also on Myspace.

My next painting will be called Split Personality. It will be a fun look at the dreaded disorder. I am off now to begin the sketching phase, and hopefully will have the finished painting ready to be viewed by the end of the week.

Thankyou for stopping in. If you ever have any questions or things you would like to talk about, feel free to contact me via the website.

It is so nice to meet you....

grinning,

dzaet