She was facing her demons

She was facing her demons... 18x24 oil on linen. Oh yes, something most of us run from. I have run from my demons most of my life, however with becoming a Buddhist, I have had to face down my demons... one at a time. It has not been pleasant, but it has been productive. I have learned that to run from suffering, is rediculous... it wont disappear on its own... a few moments of realization is far better than a lifetime of hiding.

The Puzzle

The Puzzle... 16x20 oil on linen. Our life, our decision making, our paths, can all seem at times to be a puzzle.

Playing the Game of Life

Playing the Game of Life... 24x30 oil on linen. Life is music. We can play the game of life with wisdom, or else fall into the trappings of the world.

The Decision

The Decision... 20x20 oil on linen. One of my worse qualities is decision making.... I can take anything and turn it into a dilemma... I thought with time, I would get better, but unless it is a decision between sardines and a chocolate cake, forget it....

Betrayed

Betrayed... 12x12 oil on canvas... Betrayal happens, whether it be a friendship, job, marriage. It can feel like the end of the world. I have discovered though, that it also forces you to look deep within, to define what you want, who you are, and what strengths you may or may not have. It can be a learning experience, that can enrich your life forever.

The Death of the American Dream

The Death of the American Dream... 18x24 oil.  All of us since childhood have held to this dream of the white cottage, and the white picket fence. We marry, hoping for those dreams to come true. We save throughout life to help realize those dreams. Ultimately, they dont exist. Either through political agendas or the unfaithfulness of a spouse, the white cottage falls.

Veiled in Ignorance

Veiled in Ignorance...

  We think that we "know"... but until we experience something, we know nothing. We are veiled in ignorance.

Cloaked in Bodhi

Cloaked in Bodhi... 18x24 oil on linen. Bodhi is the contemporary Western word for enlightenment. The Buddha reached enlightenment by sitting under a Bodhi tree, for many many years... It is also said that we are like a lotus, born from the mud, but rising through the water to reach the sun and light. This painting is where I want to be... my goal. Total enlightenment, and compassion for all sentient beings.

Discovering the Buddha Within

Discovering the Buddha Within, 30x30 oil on linen... yes, I am discovering the Buddhist philosophy of life, and like all of my life events, I am putting it on canvas. I wanted to do this Buddha in the antique Tibetan or Indian style, with tons of color, and a precise composition. Through this painting, I have learned the impermanence of all things, as the color pallet and composition changed throughout the painting. I learned patience, and perseverance, and found that I had to live in the moment to keep from getting overwhelmed with the detail. To look forward was disheartening, and to look back (because of all the changes) was frustrating. I am pleased that he is finished, I just wish he would stop staring at me  ;-)

Rooted in Attachments

Rooted in Attachments, 24x36 oil on linen. A look at the Buddhist concept of non-attachment... This painting is obviously showing me where I now am, clinging to things that are not in my best interest, nor condusive to spiritual growth. That said, I am well on my way to loosening my grip.

Wisdom

Wisdom.... 18x24 oil on linen. Sometimes when going through the rough situations, we lose sight that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. My light recently, was gained wisdom.

Learning to Fly Through the Darkness

Learning to Fly Through the Darkness... 24x24 oil on linen.  Sometimes in what seems the darkest times of our lives, we find a strength... a strength that we may have never known that we had, and we find at the end of our difficulty that we have learned to fly through the darkness.

The Cocoon

11x14 oil on panel. Piece done for charity event

Learning to Open My Heart

Learning to Open My Heart... 16x20 oval on board... I have kept my heart "caged" my entire life, for fear of being hurt. I basically have lived my life with distrust, as a result of childhood issues. Recently I got a puppy, something that I was never successful at... but she has been with me now about 5 months, and I have discovered something quite enlightening. I love her. Experiencing unconditional love is new to me, and I am hoping that this new found love will continue to grow, and spread out and beyond me, to other people, to the universe.

The Beauty and Her Beasts

The Beauty and Her Beasts... 20x24 oil on linen. This is a personal look at anorexia, obesity, and the "hazy normal". I have been all three, and wonder at this point in my life, if I even know what normal is supposed to be...

The Curious Case of the Recurring Childhood Dream

20x20 oil on linen... Dream book definition: To dream that you are being pursued or attacked by a bear, denotes aggression, overwhelming obstacles and competition. You may find yourself in a threatening situation.

Flying in the Face of Adversity

Flying in the Face of Adversity, 11 x 14 oil on canvas. This painting is about being able to pull on your own personal resources, or strengths when facing adversity. Odd thing is, as soon as this sketch was completed, everything seemed to go wrong, and I needed to keep looking at the sketch to remind me to stay strong! This has happened so many times, whereas usually, I paint issues after they occur, there are those strange times when I paint them, and within hours or a day or two, the issue arrives. Makes me think about what I am going to paint next! haha....

Releasing the Negative Energy

Releasing the Negative Energy... 20 x 30 oil on linen. I have reached that point in my life where holding on to people places or things that have consistently brought misery and pain, is not comfortable for me. So, I am processing the "letting go" of these things. It has been difficult emotionally. This painting shows the peace that can be obtained by not chasing rainbows, a peace that I hope to obtain, with time....